Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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