Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
