Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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