So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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