3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
