Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My balls are so social today.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
