HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
