remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Randomize