I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
