If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Someone signed my nipple.
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