i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
