Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
