I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
