the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
