A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
