ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
