how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
