Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize