if you like me you must not know who I am
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
