So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
