filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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