I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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