he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I showed him my bush... on skype.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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