She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
