i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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