Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize