I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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