i don't like sucking hair
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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