i barfeds in our rink
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize