I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
