Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Where is the hickey?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
