I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Are we still banned from the library?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
