So drunk, too bad you don't want this
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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