My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he fucked my hip out of place.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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