Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
