I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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