Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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