your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
