After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
