you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The Olympian is in my bed
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
