I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
