I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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