Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
