...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
