I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It's shark week go big or go home
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
