Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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