Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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