just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
