it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize