I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
