So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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