I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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