also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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