So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
this just has baby written all over it
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
