I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
