I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
