just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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