The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
