hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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