they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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