it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize