my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
