Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it glows. i had to have it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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