That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
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