Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
