I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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