8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
