Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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