I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
