Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
