Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
