Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
