we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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